It's Now Official, USC National Champs!!!!!!

That's right, The USC Trojans are the National Champs. It has just been announced the 2008 college football season has been canceled with USC being named National Champs.After two, let me say again TWO wins, USC has been named the best team in the land.

Not only are the USC Cock Wraps, I mean Trojans, the champs this year, it has been decided to cancel the next three seasons with the same result. That's right,
making it four in a row for the Reservoir Tipped Ejaculate Receptacles.
Wow, that makes it 22 BCS titles in just 7 years.


In other news, the SEC has been disbanded for lack of talent. Too many of
these inferior schools have been taking credit for having programs that
can compare to the almighty USC Trojans. The nerve of these "southerners" comparing themselves to THE MEN OF TROY. Who do "they" think "they" are? Achilles.

"I really don't know why we had to play Ohio St. for this to happen, beating Virginia proved that we are the best football team in the history of USC, therefore making this team the greatest team to ever be assembled, ever, including all professional sports teams. This will give me more time to finish my book," says Pete Carroll, the greatest looking, coolest guy ever to do anything in the history of things that
are soo much cooler and better that you would have to be from California or as good looking as Pete Carroll's great hair to even pretend to comprehend.

Pete Carroll's novel, " HOW TO BE THE GREATEST COACH EVER TO GET HIS ASS RUN OUT OF THE NFL AND DOMINATE A PATHETIC FOOTBALL CONFERENCE WHILE HAVING REGGIE BUSH GET CAUGHT BREAKING ALL KINDS OF RULES INVOLVING TAKING HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS WITH THE NCAA DOING NOTHING ABOUT IT BECAUSE ABC AND ESPN HAVE SOOOO MUCH INVESTED IN USC GOING TO THE ROSE BOWL OR BCS TITLE GAME THAT THIS KIND OF SCANDAL WOULD COST TOO MUCH $$$$$$ THAT IT IS BETTER TO NEVER MENTION REGGIE BUSH" will be released
sometime in the fall of 2009.

In related news it turns out that the New York Yanks did not win the World Series, ever, in fact it was the 2008 USC Tojans that won every World Series that the Bronx Bombers "claimed" to have won.

Also, it turns out that it was really Mark Sanchez who threw all those TDs for the Green Bay Packers, not Brett Favre.